February 22, 2011



I am still afraid to do the step. The 2 days fasting and the vomit.
 I know it's best for me that I am a coward. 
But really ,being in danger will bring attention. 
And attention will bring me happiness. And I know it's bad,
and I know that I shouldn't do it. 
But I also know I may not be fat ,
but I am not as thin as I would like me to be.
Today I fasted. Tomorrow I won't be able to,
my mom is at home so she will control me
but Thursday and Friday I'll try.
I WILL TRY TO
START DESTROYING MYSELF
SO I GET ATTENTION.

no matter how stupid it sounds
its my life for 5 years.


xxx

2 comments:

  1. you want to have other people's attention by trying to create an eating disorder for yourself?
    well, that's quite stupid.
    trust me, there's a lot of shit that comes along with an eating disorder...

    you should find another way to have the attention you want.

    becoming an anorexic or a bulimic is a must these days. well, the "cool" thing to do is not to try and have an ED; it's to try and maintain a healthy body and eat healthy.

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  2. actually ,look, the eating disorder has always been in me. you know ,that's not something you create. But truth is ,that I kind of take andvantage of it so I can catch the attention. I know it's stupid. But my "other me" wants it.

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