April 23, 2011

it's been a long time ..

.. i know ,and i feel terrible about it. my followers have increased and i am not posting for like a month. i am sorry but my life is so fucked up right now that i cannot concentrate and even write those meaningless shit i was writing before.
eventually ,i said yes -i have no willpower ,strength ,self-respect whatsoever.
but maybe that yes was quite good for me. i feel quite disgused by that guy now. i am getting disenchanted. i guess that's good.
i also have a tumblr ,it's much more useful than this blog because all i do is reblog and reblog. i have found so many things there but i have also found how much i envy skinny girls. i am so much more motivated by tumblr and feel such a loser every time i eat. no ,i don't have an ED i am just fat and have to stick on a diet.
yeah ,sometimes i purge on purpose or fast for a long time. but this doesn't make someone have an ED. i mean ,who hasn't done it?! if i didn't eat so much i would never purge.
now i am on my village for easter break and i have eaten so damn much. but from tuesday i will start fasting or at least eating as less as i can. this week i'd love to lose 5kg (10 pounds). i will combine it with a lot of work out and i want to go and buy these diet pills called "Size one". I hope they are helpful. I also hope my mom does not find out as she did last time with the diet tea. Anyway ,i have written way too much again. if you want, you can check tumblr and even create one. mine is : http://thebellinmyheadgoesthinthinthin.tumblr.com/ -check it out.

So.. today is the big day. We are probably going to a club today! i hope i have a nice time ,wish me luck.



  1. happy Easter ;)

    take care of yourself, don't play with these things. i don't understand whats going on with that boy, the whole point is to make u happy. if he does, then its ok ;)

  2. happy Easter ,too.

    well, i don't think he makes me happy and he is not even able to do so. all i want from him is to make out ,i know. but it gets on my nerves when he doesn't tell me important things about his life .. i don't know -guess i am very strange.

  3. okay this is exactly what i feel! :P
    he doesn't tell me anything important about his life. its like he doesn't trust me. his friends tell me more about themselves :P this gets on my nerves!! i don't tell him much about me, almost anything but i want him to tell me more..

  4. i don't want to know about every-day things. but he had a surgery and did not even mention. i learned it from my best-friend. they are good friends ,he tells her everything and to me nothing. it gets on my nerves as well.