July 24, 2011

I am a difficult person

I think I have mentioned that. I don't think that I can be pleased by anyone including myself. I always find a dislike on every single thing. I could name a thousand dislikes on every person I have met ,but in this post I want to talk about my own dislikes about myself. Later ,I would want to try and write down my "likes".
Body :
>Fat
>Fat inner thighs
>Not attractive butt
>"Hanging" boobs
>Too short
>Small hands 
>my skin is too white and sensitive. i get sunburned all the time ,peel and bruise easily
>Even when I am working out for a long time ,I don't see any changes on my body

Face :
>Fat face with big cheeks
>Cracked teeth (wearing braces)
>Marks
>Ordinary eyes/lips/nose
>Fat neck
>Small eyebrows

Character / Others :
>Too much imagination
>Low self-esteem
>Never pleased 
>High expectations of myself
>Disappointed easily
>Can neither forgive nor forget
>Always offended 
>Faking smiles
>BORING
>Afraid I will bore the person I am talking to
>Never sure
>Insecure
>Talks too much
>Sometimes not funny at all
>Cries easily
>Too fucking sensitive
>Trying to protect myself and always destroying my happiness at the very last moment
>Can't and don't want to express my feelings
>Showing a really different face to people ,like I am happy and snobbish and "famous". My problem is not that I am not true ,my problem is that I wish I was like that.
>Becomes jealous too easily
>Hates everything
>Not bright enough
>Not anything enough
>Control freak 
>Lazy
>Tends to forget things 
>Sucks at sports ,dancing ,singing ,acting while loving them
>Never determined and motivated enough
>Bad person
>Overprotective parents
>Never let myself enjoy something
>Feeling guilty for small things
>Too coward to do anything including suicidal
>Thinks rationally but when talks sounds like stupid
>Not fashionable
>Not rich 

There are more. There are always more. They keep increasing. Don't know why I wrote this post.
P.S NY times have not contacted with me ,so guess what ,they did not publish my story. I also passed my German examination which I am happy about.

1 comment:

  1. συγχαρητηρια για τα γερμανικα.
    εγω ενα προβλημα βλεπω και απο εκει πηγαζουνε τα υπολοιπα..δεν εχεις βρει καποιον να αγαπησεις πολυ και δεν σε εχει βρει καποιος αλλος να σε αγαπησει πολυ. για να πας παρακατω πρεπει να σε αγαπησεις. ναι ξερω λογια,δε μπορεις να το κανεις αλλα δε νομιζω πως προσπαθησες και ποτε σου. προσπαθησες να σταματησεις να σκεφτεσαι πως εισαι τοσο χοντρη? ποσος καιρος εχει περασει απο τοτε που βγηκες εξω βολτα και κοιταχτηκες στον καθρεφτη και ΔΕΝ σκεφτηκες τιποτα κακο?
    μπορεις να κανεις μικρα βηματακια..βρες κατι στη ζωη σου που θα σε κρατησει και θα αξιζει για προσπαθεια. και μν ακουω βλακειες για αυτοκτονιες, εισαι 15. ημαρτον.

    ReplyDelete