July 2, 2011


I am a moving failure. Don't get attached to me for any reason. I will disappoint you. Everyone disappoints me and I disappoint everyone. It's just the way it works.
I have a love-hate relationship with food. I don't know if I love it and it hates me or if I hate it and it loves me. I don't know. All I know is it defines me. I claim I control it ,but truth is I don't. Most of the times it fucks me up and all I can do is obey. Because sometimes it gets angry. And then I bleed. Either from wrist or mouth. I don't like to drive it mad. I must obey. It wants my own good. Well ,sometimes I feel like it destroys me but it does it for my own good ,right? It's mean to people. It says words I'd never say. But maybe I should say them and this is why it tells it. Because I am a coward. But ana&mia are so brave. They say everything. And they want me to be skinny. And when I am skinny I will be happy. They are the ones that care about me. My only friends. And I don't want to disappoint them too. I don't want to fail at this ,too. I will be skinny. I will be pretty. I will be happy.
As long as Ana & Mia care about me ,everything is going to be fine.

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