July 2, 2011

Something is wrong with me. I know it. I just do.
I was never diagnosed but I struggle with eating issues this year.
I am not extremely skinny or extremely fat. I am not extremely sad neither extremely happy. I am not extremely short nor tall. I am not extremely behaving as an anorexic neither as a bulimic. I am not extremely beautiful or extremely ugly. I am not extremely smart or extremely stupid. I am just not extremely anything. I look so normal while inside I am just so fucked up. No one will ever believe I have a problem and no one will ever see it.
I thought I wanted the attention but I don't. I thought I was doing it for the attention but I am not seeking it anymore ,I don't even want it.
I have admitted to myself that no one will ever care and I am okay with it. So why don't I just stop the ED thing?
It's the only thing that makes me special and that hurts.

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