August 15, 2011

You can't forget the bad habits.

So ,now ,that I am underweight ,I see myself fatter than ever. I thought I was over this ,but unfortunately I am not completely over it. It's hard trying not to count calories ,not to step on the scale ,not to check on the mirror if you can see your bones. It was my life for some months ,and it's something I am used to. I can't just stop it. What I can do ,though ,is put some pressure on my parents ,so they take me to the therapist I want. My thoughts are lot worse than the diets and the binge/purging cycles. I am getting a bit obsessed and paranoid when it comes to food and exercise. I was doing this healthy plan ,the GM diet. Today (third day) I woke up ,getting dizzy ,hands shaking ,legs that could not lift me. And then I threw up about 15 times or something ,liquids of my stomach. So ,I don't think my parents are going to let me continue the diet. Whatever ,I am still working on the becoming the best me ,but I think I'll take a break! I have to first be me and then improve me. Let's hope I am there by September!
Meanwhile you can always check my tumblr ,which has random reblogs that help me express myself!

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