November 12, 2011

here comes the rain again..


And by the moment everything comes to their place ,there is always that little pinching question you want to make. You know the answer ,then why do you ask? Why do you ask? Why the hell did you ask? Because you doubted it. You hoped it was not true. You did not want it to be true ,right? But it was, and you knew it before even asking ,before you even had the relationship. He was honest ,that's an aspect you love isn't it? Then why do you wish he had lied to you? I will tell you why. Because now ,that you are sure he still has feelings for A ,guess what you are going to do. Either you will break up with him ,which you cannot do ,because he is the best thing that has ever happened to you ,or you will start getting perfectionistic paranoid right? And we all know ,that you will chose the second one. Try to be better than her, starve ,purge ,weight yourself ,cry yourself at night ,at sleep ,at woken. Cry as much as you can ,get it out of your chest. To S ,she is the only one who can understand. Lovely ,isn't it? Your boyfriend still loves/likes/i don't know what the fuck he feels for a girl you are trying to become best friends with. The girl you are so jealous of. No ,no ,i guess this is not triggering. Her ,being perfect ,is not triggering right? Knowing you are with a person that you don't know who he thinks about when kissing you is not triggering ,huh? This relationship will end up as a disaster and you know it. There was a possibility he could help you recover ,but no way. You will become thin ,thinner ,thinnest ,skinny. He wants you to put on some weight ,and stop vomiting (because he knows ,you told him ,you trusted him). Well ,you will do excactly the opposite. And he will turn his attention to you ,only you right? You wish he will stay for you because you need him ,and it's his fault. You will make him feel guilty to stay ,gosh ,you are disgusting. But oh, so likely to do it. You lovd the fact he was honest ,and you love your moments. You are so excited with your new boyfriend. At least ,were ,and then you asked. Why did you ask? And why did he tell the truth? Why couldn't you lie ,why couldn't you be one of all the other jerks around? Why do you have to be so sweet? 
You were so surprised when I cried in front of you and told me :Wow ,you have feelings. Well ,yes I obviously have feelings ,and i am not that cold bitch I am trying to look like. You start learning me ,it's nice. What we have is nice. Why did I ask? 

5 comments:

  1. ανατριχιασα..

    Οκ δεν ξερω τι να πω. σε κανει να νιωθεις ωραια και πρεπει να μεινεις μαζι του, αλλα οχι να κανεις ολα αυτα για να σε προσεξει. το ξερω πως το ξερεις οτι ειναι λαθος, αλλα δεν εχει σημασια. το ξαναλεω!
    προσεχε τον εαυτο σου και ΤΟΤΕ θα σε προσεξει, γιατι θα εισαι εσυ. και αξιζεις.

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  2. Αρα προτεινεις να μεινω μαζι του;

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  3. εγω θα σου προτεινω ρε χαζο?
    δε θα καθορισω εγω τα προσωπικα σου..
    η ερωτηση ειναι μια!
    πως νιωθεις,οταν εισαι μαζι του?
    νιωθεις καλα? σε ολοκληρωνει? σε κανει να νιωθεις ασφαλεια? πιστευεις οτι εχετε μελλον? και η ερωτηση ΔΕΝ ειναι μια :P
    ειναι πολλες , αλλα ολες συνεπαγονται στο πως σε κανει να νιωθεις..
    αν ημουν στη θεση σου, θα καθομουνα μαζι του αλλα θα του ελεγα πως ενιωθα. Δηλαδη οτι δν αντεχω στν σκεψη οτι σκεφτεται τη φιλη μου!
    αν ομως καθε φορα που ημουν μαζι του, ενιωθα ζηλεια μειονεκτηκα και θυμο ,θα εφευγα..

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  4. σαν γνωμη σε ρωτησα, και ως τριτη που δεν επηρεαζεσαι απο συναισθηματα..
    νιωθω υπεροχα. με ολοκληρωνει, περναμε πολυ ωραια, λεμε βλακειες, ειμαστε σαν κολλητοι που τα εχουν. Γελαμε, μιλαμε ολη μερα, ειμαστε μαζι στο σχολειο. Εχω σκεφτει και του το εχω πει πως ακομα και να χωρισουμε θελω να μιλαμε στο τηλεφωνο, να με περνει τα βραδια να μου λεει καληνυχτα. Πια, δεν μπορω να κοιμηθω αν δν μιλησουμε καμια 2 ωρες.
    Συνηθως το ξεχναω οταν ειμαι μαζι του. Μπορω να του πω τα παντα. Ενω δεν ημουν των σχεσεων, με εχει αλλαξει. Εχω γινει καλυτερος ανθρωπος. Θελω να ειμαι μαζι του, και μονο μαζι του.

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  5. :) τοτε δεν υπαρχει κατι να πω.
    εσυ το ξερεις ηδη.

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