August 27, 2012

Someone would think I’m in an abusive relationship. Too bad it’s with myself.

Self-harm.
Am I over it or not?
Bulimia, anorexia or EDnos w/e the fuck I had. Am I over it? Can I say I recovered?
Since I have not visited a doctor I don't think I can say that.
September 1st this will change. I will get help, I will get better.
I cannot depend on my boyfriend to be mentally healthy. That's fucked up, right?
World has proven, you can't depend on people. They are humans, and they make mistakes, just as much as I do. What would happen if someone depended on me so much? They would be dead by now, I am a mistake. Maybe I should break up with my boyfriend, so that I learn to be independent. I'll learn to live without him, and without anyone. I'll live by myself, that would be best!
September 1st. I WILL make a phone call that will change my life to better. I will seek help and admit I am sick. This will be the first step. I will arrange an appointment. Step two I WILL go to therapy. I WILL talk to the shrink. I WILL be medicated if needed. I WILL do everything it takes to GET THE FUCK BETTER.
And then I won't have to try for much. I will be better, happier, nicer body, healthier, prettier.
I won't cry that much, I won't be that insecure. I will not bore people around me and I am not going to be a pain in the ass. It will take time, probably a lot of time but eventually I WILL be happy.

2 comments:

  1. εύχομαι το will να υλοποιηθεί και όλα να πάνε όπως τα θες.Δεν είναι απαραίτητο να χωρίσεις. Μάθε να ζεις με εκείνον χωρίς εκείνον! Γιατί κάποια στιγμή θα χρειαστείς κάποιον και θα ξανακάνεις μία σχέση και δεν θα έχες μάθει τίποτα. να είσαι μαζί του, να τον νοιάζεσαι και να σε νοιάζεται, αλλά να μην τον χρειάζεσαι τόσο! Καλή επιτυχία

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